say with me.... " floooowweeeerrrr!"

"Orchid"

Sounds familiar?

Well, its picked up from a famous adverts. Still can't remember? Aiyah, its the one where a father pointed to a white orchid and asked his child to pronounce flower, but instead, being fed the best milk formula, she pronounce the word orchid.

Well, i think anxiety has set me going berzerk and my sensitivity has overtaken my usual daily toll. Imagine, I was a bit perturbed since yesterday, when my baby does not respond to my calling and reading a story from a book.

Wat have I done to deserve this treatment? The coldness and ignorance after several calls and rubbing. My baby has never done this to me. Normally, he would at least moved or nudge if she hears my voice or feels my hand rubbing. I would then play with her hide and seek. Rampant movement is all i need other than kicking and nudging.

But yesterday, she just went numb and ignore me.

Gosh! The deep cut that causes wide gash could no longer be stopped and I can no longer keep shut bout it. How in the world can any father felt when his child ignore him. After showering with love and tender loving feeling, all u could asked for is just a little smile.

Now I can relate to many advices that my dad used to give me, when I m stubborn or when i gave both my parents that face - one that u would slap. Being a parent myself, would give me great privillages to experience it. I do regret of the wrongs that I'd done. Imagine. I've yet to see my baby being born or the hardship that my wife going thru during labour.

I guess my anxiety and sensitivity has made me to have cold feet, to face the reality that its only left few weeks before I can meet him/her in person.

To tell u the truth, I m all excited to have her in my arms and to hold him for the first time. I could never tell wifey straight of wat I m feeling deep inside. Fellow fathers has relate their experiences of watching their wife giving birth. Repent. Thats wat most says.

Scared seh! I really wonder wat I would feel seeing my wife in pain and yet, i can't lift a single thing to lift the pain.

So, wifey, if u think that u r the only one feeling excited, sensitive, scared, anxiety and many more mixed feelings, i think, u r not alone. I m having the same feelings too....

.... brrrrr.....