DoubtingTheTrust...

What are some characteristics of trust?

The ability to let others know your feelings, emotions and reactions, and having the confidence in them to respect you and to not take advantage of you.
Being able to share feelings and thoughts with others with the belief that they will not spread them indiscriminately.

• Having confidence in others abilities to be supportive and reinforcing of you despite your weaknesses.
  
• The ability to make mistakes and still be supported.
  
• The internal sense of acceptance you have of others with whom you are able to share private information.
  
• The sense of well being in the presence of the other person, that nothing can disrupt the bond between you and the other.
  
• The ability to let others into your life so that you and they can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect, caring, and concern to assist one another in growing and working together independently.
  

When we trust someone, either personally or professionally, we are willing to enter into a relationship with them. When trust is present we are willing to conduct ourselves differently, engage in a wider range of actions, and be more open to a variety of experiences. The degree to which we trust someone has a major bearing on the type and relationship we will form with him or her. Each of us knows many people. But our trusting relationships are typically limited to a much smaller group of individuals. We exist within a network of relationships, and the quality of these relationships determines the sense of satisfaction, achievement, enjoyment and fulfillment we give ourselves.

We learn through our experiences in both positive and negative relationships. Positive relationships provide much of the quality life offers. Much of our discontent comes from not having the relationships that are important to us. Because of past trust experiences some people find it more difficult than others to develop trusting relationships. Trust allows relationships to develop and flourish. If trust erodes, the relationship deteriorates. Doubts around trust can color our thinking about the other person, which has a negative impact on the relationship.

Some people have greater difficulty forming trusting relationships. Some reasons may include:

• Experiencing a high degree of mental, physical or emotional abuse.
  
• Having many incidences of being put down for who they are or what they believe.
  
• Having been hurt in the past and unwilling to risk being hurt again.
  
• Experienced the loss of a loved one through death. The individual gets so caught up in unresolved grief that they are unable to open themselves up to others, fearing they will be left alone again.
  
• Having lived in an environment that was emotionally and/or physically unpredictable and volatile.
  
• Experienced a great deal of pain at the hands of another.
  
• Having low self-esteem and not believing that they are deserving of the attention, care, and concern of anyone.

It is not uncommon for a person to lose hope when things are not going well in their life. When faced with difficulties and problems we feel fearful and helpless, we become over-whelmed, and it doesn't take long for a sense of hopelessness to set in. Focusing on our own real or perceived limitations and inability to change the condition of our life results in feeling stuck and paralyzed. Fear makes us lose hope, which then leads to a loss of confidence.

Generally, our fears create doubts in our mind about our ability to handle that particular situation, and so we start feeling helpless... the problem seems too big for us to cope with. Since fears lead to doubts, we doubt everything and everyone. These fears and doubts eat at us. Fears and doubts are progressive in nature... if unchecked they keep getting from bad to worse. This combination of negative thoughts and feelings build on each other and take us spiraling down. At this point we cannot trust ourselves or anyone else.

Fears --> Doubts --> Loss of Trust/Faith --> Loss of Hope

Hopelessness is one of the criteria for diagnosing Depression. When hopelessness sets in a person does not know which way to turn, what to do and how to get out of it. Nothing, absolutely nothing seems to help alleviate this feeling.
Something has to shift within us to make us feel hopeful again. Something that is buried so deep that we don't have access to it, or lose our hold on it.

Having said that, I believe that all of us has doubt on the person taht we trust. However, the degree of doubts that we had must be controlled in order to make the relationship work. To certain extend, at times, you got to believe in your other half to what he is doing. If your other half loves you much, he/she will know that the trust that he earned are precious and so, are you...